10/20/14

Guest Post: THE ART OF EATING ZOMBIE


Today's post is from Lauren Wilson, author of THE ART OF EATING THROUGH THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. We're giving away a copy of her book at Thursday's ZOMBIE SHOW. (Can't wait? You can buy the book here.)


*      *      * 
Huh? There was a news report of some guy whacked out on bath salts eating some other dude’s face off in the street today? Hurmmmm, there was a piece in the paper about a lady being mauled to death by an unidentified wild animal in a nearby park?

Welcome to the zombie apocalypse! Tomorrow is a big day: you will be losing your head (hopefully not literally) trying to fend off the newly infected. On top of that, those pesky little weak spots in your fortress will surely present themselves, leaving you overwhelmed with survival and physical defense–focused activities.

Before you go to sleep tonight (if it even seems safe to do so), why not plan ahead for breakfast? Not only will it help use up some of your perishables (milk, eggs, butter, bread) before the power goes out, it will also give you a calorie-rich jumpstart to your undead-filled day.

If the power has already gone out, reduce the amount of time you soak the bread to a couple of hours and use an Oven Hack (page 41) to cook this bad boy.


Overnight of the Living Dead French Toast

Yields: 4 Hungry Survivor servings, 6 Regular Joe servings
Requires: Chef’s or survival knife and cutting board
1 bread knife
1 small mixing bowl
1 mixing spoon
1 fireproof baking dish (preferably 7″ x 11″)
1 large bowl
1 whisk (or fork)
Piece of foil, to cover baking dish
Heat Source: Indirect, conventional oven or other Oven Hack (page 41)
Time: 10 minutes prep
4–8 hours inactive soaking time
35 minutes unattended cooking time

Ingredients:
1/4 c. (4 tbsp.) butter, melted
1/2 c. brown sugar
12 oz. bread (challah, raisin, French baguette, Wonder—whatever you got, preferably a mix of several different kinds), sliced into strips 2–3 fingers wide
1/2 c. dried cranberries or raisins
6 eggs
2 tbsp. granulated sugar
1 1/2 c. milk, cream, or combination
1 tbsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
Pinch of salt
3 tbsp. rum, orange liqueur, or brandy (optional)
1 c. nuts (walnuts, pecans, or almonds), roughly chopped and preferably toasted
Maple syrup, to taste

Method:
1. Mix together the melted butter and brown sugar in a small mixing bowl. Spread the mixture along the bottom of the baking dish.
2. Put down a layer of bread fingers, overlapping and filling gaps where needed. Sprinkle with dried fruit. Repeat with remaining bread and fruit.
3. In a large mixing bowl, whisk eggs and granulated sugar together until the sugar has dissolved, about 1 minute. Add the milk/cream, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, pinch of salt, and liquor/liqueur (if using). Whisk until incorporated.
5. Pour the custard over the bread and dried fruit, sweeping back and forth to moisten the whole top layer, filling any nooks and crannies. Cover with foil and let sit for 2 hours (no refrigeration) or at least 4 hours to overnight (in the fridge).
6. Preheat oven (for perhaps the last time!) to 375°F or set up an Oven Hack (see Judging Temperature, page 41).
7. Remove foil from the baking dish and sprinkle with the toasted nuts (if using). Drizzle lightly with maple syrup.
8. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes, then cover and bake for another 15 minutes to avoid over-browning. Check after 20 minutes or so—cooking time will vary widely depending on your setup.
9. The French toast is ready when the custard at the center feels set (i.e., not jiggly, squishy, or raw). Let stand for 5–10 minutes, then drizzle liberally with more maple syrup before tucking in.


Dried Fruit Substitution: Nearly any dried fruit can be used in place of cranberries or raisins in this recipe; cherries or apples work well as direct substitutions. If using other dried fruits (say, apricots or anything tropical), I would also adapt the spices accordingly, swapping cinnamon and nutmeg for lemon zest or lemon oil extract, for example.


Recipe illustration, author portrait credit & cover illustration: Kristian Bauthus

* * * 

Thanks Lauren! 

Remember, we're giving away a copy of Lauren's cookbook at KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT ZOMBIES

A two-hour feast of zombie film footage and pop culture commentary.

With presentations by 
  • Heather Buckley (FangoriaDread Central
  • Daan Van Versendaal (Netherlands Institute of Neuroscience) 
  • Brian Solomon (The Vault of Horror
  • Captain Cruella (Village Invasion Zombie Crawl)
  • Doug Sakmann (Special FX Artist) 
 Kevin & Matt Geek Out About Zombies - Trailer from Matthew Glasson on Vimeo.


KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT ZOMBIES
Thursday October 23rd @ 9:30pm

Get tickets HERE


10/19/14

HORROR MOVIES A to Z

To get ready for Thursday's ZOMBIE SPECTACULAR** at Nitehawk Cinema, here's an A-Z poem about horror films. 

A is for Alien, chest-bursting bitch


B is for Belial, makes baskets twitch


C's for Chatterer, cenobite #2


D is for Damien, this hanging's for you





10/18/14

DREAM DATES GONE WRONG - part 2

A version of this series originally appeared in MY DREAM DATE WITH A VILLAIN.

M.O.D.O.K.
Non of Krypton (from Superman II)

Hannibal Lecter (from SILENCE OF THE LAMBS)
Ming the Merciless (from FLASH GORDON)
Ghostface (from SCREAM)
Zombie (from DAY OF THE DEAD)
Ro-Man Extension XJ-2 (from ROBOT MONSTER)
The Leader
Leatherface (from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre Part 2)
Biker from The Living Dead Gang (from PSYCHOMANIA)
Nostalgic Chestburster (from ALIEN)
Billy the Puppet (from SAW)

Click HERE to see DREAM DATES GONE WRONG - part 1. 


*** RELATED ***

Live Show: All About Zombies 




IN PRINT: This series was created for the zine MY DREAM DATE WITH A VILLAIN, on sale now from Herectical Sexts. Buy it HERE.

ONLINE: come back to this site to see DREAM DATES GONE WRONG parts 3. 


photo courtesy of GreGGory Buxom

10/17/14

8 GREAT HORROR MOVIES YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF (But I have, because I'm better than you) ***PARODY***

Looking for some super scary movies this Halloween? Horror Hound Kevin Maher rounds up some of the most obscure films you've never heard of, because you don't know anything. 

HOUSE
This Japanese nail-biter stars William Katt as a horror novelist staying in the most haunted house ever. An instant cult-classic -- and yet most people have never seen it!


 THE GATE
 
Lovers of old movies will love this campy, tongue-in-cheek tribute to scary cinema.



TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 3: LEATHER-FACE

Everybody knows the 2003 horror flick, but did you know that was a remake?!  I did. And the original cult classic had not one, but TWO sequels. 




 

SESSION NINE

I don’t know much about this film, but my friend Tim said most people just skim these types of articles so don't worry about the descriptions.

THE CARNIVAL OF SOULS

This black-and-white cult classic borrows heavily from George R. Romero’s cult classic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD but still has some serious scares.  
 

"THE EYE"

This is a wholly original tale of super-natural suspense staring super-hottie Jessica Alba. I haven't seen this one, but the imdb summary sounds spooky.



SUSPIRSIA

This 60's midnight movie is the ultimate cult classic where an American girl uncovers evil at a boarding school.  In true Euro-horror style, the viewer is left to decide if the whole experience was just in her imagination.





PUMPKINHEAD

Admit it: you didn’t know about this one, either. I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard of it. Not like you.

        * * * 

Ha ha, get it? 

Man, I hate those condescending, error-filled listicles that pop up this time of year. 

But seriously, if you want to see a fun show, come to KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT ZOMBIES

Kevin & Matt Geek Out About Zombies - Trailer from Matthew Glasson on Vimeo.


A two-hour feast of zombie film footage and pop culture commentary.


With special guest presentations by 
  • Heather Buckley (Fangoria, Dread Central
  • Daan Van Versendaal (Netherlands Institute of Neuroscience) 
  • Brian Solomon (The Vault of Horror
  • Captain Cruella (Village Invasion Zombie Crawl)
  • Doug Sakmann (Special FX Artist)

KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT ZOMBIES
Thursday October 23rd @ 9:30pm

Get tickets HERE


10/16/14

ZOMBIE-MOVIE MADNESS at Brooklyn's NiteHawk Cinema


KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT ZOMBIES
Thursday October 23rd @ 9:30pm

Get tickets HERE
  
Kevin & Matt Geek Out About Zombies - Trailer from Matthew Glasson on Vimeo.


A two-hour feast of zombie film footage and pop culture commentary.

Comedian Kevin Maher and filmmaker Matt Glasson present an obsessive look at zombies, from White Zombie to World War Z. The hosts explore pre-Romero voodoo zombies, Night of the Living Dead rip-offs, the recurring theme of Nazi Zombies in film, and the recent run of zombies overtaking pop culture. The two-hour show features dozens of clips including zombie film highlights from Italian, Asian, British and Mexican filmmakers.


With special guest presentations by 
  • Heather Buckley (Fangoria, Dread Central
  • Daan Van Versendaal (Netherlands Institute of Neuroscience) 
  • Brian Solomon (The Vault of Horror
  • Captain Cruella (Village Invasion Zombie Crawl)
  •  Plus trivia prizes and zombie snack foods!


Kevin and Matt are excited to bring their humorous, terrifying, quite unforgettable video variety show to Nitehawk Cinema. From casual filmgoers to die-hard zombie fanatics, it’s an evening of guaranteed zombie fun for everyone!


Get tickets HERE



A two-hour feast of zombie film footage and pop culture commentary.
Comedian Kevin Maher and filmmaker Matt Glasson present an obsessive look at zombies, from White Zombie to World War Z. The hosts explore pre-Romero voodoo zombies, Night of the Living Dead rip-offs, the recurring theme of Nazi Zombies in film, and the recent run of zombies overtaking pop culture. The two-hour show features dozens of clips including zombie film highlights from Italian, Asian, British and Mexican filmmakers.
With special guest presentations by Heather Buckley (Fangoria, Dread Central), Brian Solomon (The Vault of Horror) and Captain Cruella (Village Invasion Zombie Crawl). Plus trivia prizes and zombie snack foods!
Kevin and Matt are excited to bring their humorous, terrifying, quite unforgettable video variety show to Nitehawk Cinema. From casual filmgoers to die-hard zombie fanatics, it’s an evening of guaranteed zombie fun for everyone!
- See more at: http://www.nitehawkcinema.com/movie/kevin-geeks-out-zombies/#sthash.Ewuk54jD.dpuf

A two-hour feast of zombie film footage and pop culture commentary.
Comedian Kevin Maher and filmmaker Matt Glasson present an obsessive look at zombies, from White Zombie to World War Z. The hosts explore pre-Romero voodoo zombies, Night of the Living Dead rip-offs, the recurring theme of Nazi Zombies in film, and the recent run of zombies overtaking pop culture. The two-hour show features dozens of clips including zombie film highlights from Italian, Asian, British and Mexican filmmakers.
With special guest presentations by Heather Buckley (Fangoria, Dread Central), Brian Solomon (The Vault of Horror) and Captain Cruella (Village Invasion Zombie Crawl). Plus trivia prizes and zombie snack foods!
Kevin and Matt are excited to bring their humorous, terrifying, quite unforgettable video variety show to Nitehawk Cinema. From casual filmgoers to die-hard zombie fanatics, it’s an evening of guaranteed zombie fun for everyone!
- See more at: http://www.nitehawkcinema.com/movie/kevin-geeks-out-zombies/#sthash.Ewuk54jD.dpuf

A two-hour feast of zombie film footage and pop culture commentary.
Comedian Kevin Maher and filmmaker Matt Glasson present an obsessive look at zombies, from White Zombie to World War Z. The hosts explore pre-Romero voodoo zombies, Night of the Living Dead rip-offs, the recurring theme of Nazi Zombies in film, and the recent run of zombies overtaking pop culture. The two-hour show features dozens of clips including zombie film highlights from Italian, Asian, British and Mexican filmmakers.
With special guest presentations by Heather Buckley (Fangoria, Dread Central), Brian Solomon (The Vault of Horror) and Captain Cruella (Village Invasion Zombie Crawl). Plus trivia prizes and zombie snack foods!
Kevin and Matt are excited to bring their humorous, terrifying, quite unforgettable video variety show to Nitehawk Cinema. From casual filmgoers to die-hard zombie fanatics, it’s an evening of guaranteed zombie fun for everyone!
- See more at: http://www.nitehawkcinema.com/movie/kevin-geeks-out-zombies/#sthash.Ewuk54jD.dpuf

10/10/14

FREE TICKET to KEVIN GEEKS OUT - NY COMIC CON SHOW



Free admission to KEVIN GEEKS OUT (with this flyer)

KEVIN GEEKS OUT: 
COMIC CON SPECTACULAR
Saturday October 11th @ 8:00pm
Webster Hall - 125 East 11th Street, NYC


Free admission with the above flyer. 






10/6/14

DREAM DATES GONE WRONG -- part 1

A version of this series originally appeared in MY DREAM DATE WITH A VILLAIN.

Freddy Kruger - A Nightmare on Elm Street

Butterball the Cenobite - Hellraiser

Blue Meanie - Yellow Submarine

Henry Kane - Poltergeist II

Bebop - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Pennywise - Stephen King's IT

Cthulu - H.P. Lovecraft's "The Call of Cthulu"

RELATED: 

UPCOMING LIVE SHOWS: See Calendar HERE.


IN PRINT: This series was created for the zine MY DREAM DATE WITH A VILLAIN, on sale now from Herectical Sexts. Buy it HERE.

And come back to this site to see DREAM DATES GONE WRONG parts 2 and 3. 


photo courtesy of GreGGory Buxom


10/5/14

NERD COMEDY: For Nerds, By Nerds


You're Invited -- 
This Wednesday (October 8th) @ 8pm

Come to The Way Station 
(Brooklyn's only steampunk bar with a TARDIS bathroom) 

It's an evening of NERD comedy 
made specifically for nerds, by nerds. 

No condescending corporate geek-speak, it's 100% organic, Brooklyn-based artesanal nerdy-comedy.

with TV's FRANK (from Mystery Science Theater 3000)

Liam McEneaney (Tell Your Friends podcast) 

Meghan O'Neill (Reductress, J Crew Crew web-series)

Manolo Blank (toured the globe with Britney Spears) 

Nick Nadel (Comics Alliance, The Onion)

Jeff Balrogworthy (redneck nerd comic) 

Hosted by Kevin Maher (Kevin Geeks Out)

The show features stand-up, readings and short videos. 

Just $10, Ages 21+

No advanced ticket sales, arrive early for best seats. 



10/1/14

Comic Con P.S.A. (and show calendar)



I made this Public Service Announcement for Comic Con because I'm doing two big shows as part of New York Super Week.

1. NERD COMEDY: For Nerds, By Nerds
Wednesday October 8th @ 8:00pm
at The Way Station
683 Washington Avenue in Brooklyn

Nerdy comedy performed at a Steampunk bar with a TARDIS bathroom.
Featuring Frank Conniff (aka TV's Frank from MST3K)
comedian Liam McEneaney (Tell Your Friends podcast)
Rusty Ward as redneck-nerd comic "Jeff Balrogworthy"
Meghan O'Neill (Reductress.com, J. Crew Crew)
Manolo Blank (international clown) 
Nick Nadel (HBO, The Onion) 
Hosted by Kevin Maher

The show includes stand-up, readings, sketches and videos. All designed for nerds, by nerds. 

Tickets are just ten bucks. 
No advanced ticket sales.
Age 21+
*   *   * 

2. KEVIN GEEKS OUT: COMIC CON SPECTACULAR
Saturday October 11th @ 8:00pm
in The Studio at Webster Hall,

A comedy-variety show celebration of everything we love about Comic Con, featuring presentations and comedy bits about Comic Books, Collectable Toys, Horror Movies, Robots, Post-Apocaylptic Fiction, Role Playing Games, Superhero Movies and Celebrity Encounters.
with: 
Screenwriter M. Sweeney Lawless
Professor Geoff Klock
Author/artist Tenebrous Kate
Blogger Nick Nadel
Cartoonist R. Sikoryak
Rusty Ward (host of Science Friction)
With special appearance by Flat Stan Lee
Hosted by Kevin Maher. 

Tickets and details HERE.





9/29/14

How to Scientifically Determine When To Turn Down A Job

No one wants to pass up a “great opportunity.” Certainly not me.  When I was in my 20’s I’d say “yes” to countless stand-up gigs, web-videos, presentation pilots, pop culture blogging, you-name-it.

I needed to build-up my professional resume and I knew I could learn from people who had more experience than I did.

But after a few years of fattening my resume, I was burning myself out on other people’s projects. I didn’t have much to show for it. And mostly I was learning that a lot of the projects weren’t what they promised to be and neither were the people.

Worst of all, the combination of low-paying and no-paying gigs was keeping me from pursuing my own dreams. 

But today when someone contacts me with “a great opportunity” I use this simple test (created by my wife and me) to decide what to do.

Once the potential employer/collaborator/Svengali gives me the details on the workload, I rate the project based on these traits.

(1 being the lowest, 5 being the highest)


Money (score it on a scale of 1 – 5) 
Is there pay?  Is the pay any good?  Is there enough money for the amount of time required?

Creatively fulfilling (score it on a scale of 1 – 5)
Will this work be personally satisfying? If not, there better be something else on this list as a reason to do it.

Peers (score it on a scale of 1 – 5)
Will I be in contact with enjoyable, admirable peers? Are these people I want to build a professional relationship with?

Impact on personal life (score it on a scale of 1 – 5)
Will this movie/TV show/interactive online novella get in the way of my time with friends and family?  Am I going to be working late nights?  Is that worth it?

Beneficial for my Career (score it on a scale of 1 – 5)
Does this job represent a clear step forward on chosen professional path?

HOW TO SCORE THE TEST
Just as New York City has standards about what grade of meat is served in its restaurants, I have a number that a project must clear.  

Then I can take a job, provided the sum clears that hurdle.

Sometimes the money’s bad, but the collaborators are good and it’s not too time consuming. 

Or maybe the job isn’t a resume builder, but the money’s great.

Or it’s not inspiring people, but the project is something I’ve always wanted to try so it’s personally fulfilling.

I’ve taken every possible combination of traits and I’ve gone into each freelance job knowing exactly why I took it.


NOW IT’S YOUR TURN
Identify your top priorities.  Find your cut-off grade.

Maybe you don’t like working early hours.Or you want to work from home. Or you just want to take a one-time gig to put a big-name employer to put on your resume.

How bad does a job have to be for you to say no?  (Or how good does a job have to be for you to say yes?)


Once you decide what’s important to you, you can create your own version of the Freelancer’s test and you can start turning down jobs without any regrets or apologies.

* * * 

Kevin Maher is an Emmy-nominated comedy writer whose work has been seen on HBO, Comedy Central, CNN and Nickelodeon. Journalists have compared Kevin to Ernie Kovacs and Jonathan Winters, but his highest praise came from Tiger Beat who called him “funny!”  Follow him on twitter: @KevinGeeksOut

And see his upcoming live shows during New York Super Week. MORE HERE

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